dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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