Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
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