Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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