Already got asked if we're dating
shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Randomize
