how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
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