I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Randomize
