is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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