just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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