from now on my penis is your penis
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
19 People Confess What It’s Like To Have Sex With Someone That Is Transitioning
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.