Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.