dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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