My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Randomize
