actually, I'm a sock model
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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