Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
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