I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
