so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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