She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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