Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Randomize
