i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
found the other keg... it's in the tree
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
