If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
