Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
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