worst night to have a conscience
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
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He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
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Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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