WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Randomize
