masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
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