I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
