What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
