mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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