she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
