Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
