Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
jump out the window naked night went bad
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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