Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
