Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
