Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
