my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
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