I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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