we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
