Your mouth is God's brothel.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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