he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
