he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I should be sponsored by Trojan
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Oh god it's open bar.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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