so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
