they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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