Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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