How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Randomize
