Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize
