they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
