Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
