They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Randomize
