Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Randomize
