White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
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