talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
