Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize