at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
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