You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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