He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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