shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
My friends, they love my intelligence
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
