dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
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