i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Randomize
