First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
im six kinds of drunk right now
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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