Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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