You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
