Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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