I hate your face
I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
